Murakami

I have nearly gotten to the end of the book "Norwegian Wood" novel which was written by a Japanese author Haruki Murakami. His style is extraordinary, which can seduce readers more easily than other writers's I have ever tasted. My bad English is one of the most terrible things that can't make things clear when I write something down in this language. 

I have never thought about my own death in a serious way. I mean I am so scared of it, literally because I am too young and the upcoming windows are waiting for me. But I can't make it clear right here as if my English writing were my noted disability. 

I will make an attempt to digest about 2 books one week, at least one but I 'll try to get to the maximum of 2 because I don't have much time. Staying with my cousin's family can't be denied being comfortable but I am an outsider and my self-esteem will be ruined if I live here for too long. I want to build something on my own before I leave and now it has promising future. English is always the problem. I see it makes progress day by day and I continuously pour my entire effort into it relentlessly but I do think it has been never enough.

People have spent for ages learning one language and I spent nearly one decade on English; however, the fruit is still green and I can't pick it for my meals. Like growing trees, ploughing, English learners need to be patient and clever to make things done as fast as possible. 

I'll force myself to write in English more regularly. At certain time of the day, I suffer from some little depression, which causes me not to be interested in nothing apart from sleeping or just sitting fixedly with daydream running wild in my head. After for a few hours, I come back to the normal state but the tiredness/ jet lag goes on disrupting my concentration, causing some problems in my brain. I usually wake up heavily, which happens so frequently that I do acclaim that I experience some mental illness. Despite that, I try to put on my face fake smile and keep up talking joyfully though most of the time I only prefer being alone and reading books, or just enjoying myself with my own private space. Humans are such a complicated animal. Humans deserve the gold medal in making things much more complex.

I will read some English issues now before I go to bed around 0:30 AM.